You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I can't turn off my feet"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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