Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
