but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
