i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
