Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize