he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
