My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
