so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
