ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
