Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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