Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
