if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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