We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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