you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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