If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
