I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
nutella sex= disaster
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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