I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
