I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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