and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
