We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
