So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize