you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
God, I missed his penis.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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