just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize