i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
