fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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