I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You're like the curious george of whores
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize