We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
