I'm going to jail i love you
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
