sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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