You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
