They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we're chasing vodka with high fives
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
