We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
how does that bad decision feel?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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