she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
