my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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