On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
