He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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