Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
