Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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