I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
