everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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