how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
