i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Your penis caused this!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
