so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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