I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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