Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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