Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
