party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize