I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
