Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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