Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
