The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
This can only be settled by a dance off.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
