and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
