Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I have aggressive nipples.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
