weddingsv make me drug and hornr
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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