So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's official drugs can't kill me
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
