To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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