He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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