He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
