Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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