I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
