yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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