Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
