i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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