Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
